2024/12/18 我心中最渴望的事 - 文／蘇姊妹

我心中最渴望的事
文／蘇姊妹
各位弟兄姐妹們平安，我榮幸的在這裡做見證。
我接受耶穌基督作為我的救主，是一個很漫長的過程，在接受耶穌基督作為我的救主前，我曾是一個佛教徒，因為小時候的一場大病，從而成為拜偶像的人，當時我突然生了怪病，連續7天不吃不喝，不能睜眼睛，醫院也沒辦法看我的病，就建議家人帶我去看異病，結果通過親戚的介紹，找到一個信佛並供奉仙家的人給我驅鬼治病，就在那次以後，我也開始走向拜偶像的道路，隨著時間和那些人的影響，我慢慢的成為佛教徒，一信就是十幾年，但現在回想起那時的經歷，我真的是心有餘悸，那時為了換取平安，換取家裡生意的興旺，我和母親真的是沒少花錢，最後不僅沒有換來平安，卻使我走進了無數的劫難…我父親的酒廠倒閉，還欠了很多外債，從而把他們的房子都賣掉還債，而我也經歷了丈夫的背叛，最終走向離婚，那時的我真的猶如活在地獄一般，看到我的女兒還那麼小，我既心疼又愧疚，每天都活在仇恨裡，慢慢的我開始失眠，精神一度崩潰，但是為了父母和孩子我還是要堅持下去，我的脾氣暴躁，每天最煎熬的就是晚上家人都睡著時，我卻無法入睡，即使是靠藥物也不行，那時的我，只想能好好的睡一覺。
感謝主，我的救主耶穌基督揀選了我，其實在我信主的前兩年，福音的種子就已種下了，那時我還不認識神，我的一個表嫂在新加坡給我傳福音，但當時我聽到福音時非常抗拒，覺得我一個佛教徒，你讓信什麼耶穌？更何況耶穌是外國人的神，跟我有什麼關係，但主並沒有因此而離棄我，而是藉著表嫂不停的給我傳福音，就這樣兩年後的一天，我和表嫂通電話時，把我心裡的苦講給她說，這時我表嫂突然跟我說：「小莉，你信主吧！」我這次並沒有拒絕而是隨口說：「如果神能讓我好好的睡一覺，我就信！」當場表嫂就通過電話，讓我做了決志禱告，說：「如果你今晚睡覺了，那你周日就去教會看看瞭解一下！」我也只是抱著試試的心態，隨口就答應了，但神的大能真的顯現了，當晚我真的就一覺睡到了天亮，可能對於別人來說，這不算什麼大見證，但對於一個長期失眠的人，這比什麼都珍貴，沒有經歷過失眠和抑鬱的人，是不會瞭解那種感受的，我甚至想過死，但耶穌基督卻拯救了我，於是我周日便去了教會。當唱讚美詩時，我的眼淚止不住的往下流，心裡的委屈，一下都釋放出來了，第二天，我就請教會的姐妹，把我家裡供奉的偶像和仙家排位，都從家裡清了出去，從此我走向信靠主的路，我的生活也慢慢的發生了轉變。在這以後，我雖然也經歷了很多難事，但靠著主耶穌，我都一一勝過了，這期間，我也經歷了很多見證，我母親的癌症是神醫治的，還有很多，包括我來美國的經歷…這就是我信主的經歷。
經過這麼長時間神的帶領，我的生活我的性格，都發生了大的改變，我不再活在仇恨當中，很多事學會寬容原諒，學會包容別人，因為我知道是神救贖了我，赦免我的罪，但很遺憾，在國內的這些年，我由於各種原因都未能受洗，但接受受洗一直是我心中最渴望的事，直到來到美國，來到的聖達台福教會，是神帶領我來到這個教會，是神帶領我回家了，在這裡我終於能真正的成為神的孩子了。
我感謝主讚美主，感謝聖達教會，感謝謝牧師，許牧師，詹長老開創幸福小組，讓我更好更快的融入到聖達台福教會這個大家庭。

What I long for most
Peace to all brothers and sisters, I am honored to be here to share my witness.
It was a long process for me to accept Jesus Christ as my savior. Before I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I was a Buddhist. I became an idolater due to a serious illness in my childhood. I suddenly fell ill with a strange illness. I couldn't eat or drink for seven consecutive days, and I couldn't open my eyes. The hospital couldn't diagnose my illness, so I suggested that my family take me to see a strange illness. Through the introduction of my relatives, I found a man who believed in Buddhism. People at home exorcised ghosts and treated my illness. After that, I also started to worship idols. With time and the influence of those people, I gradually became a Buddhist, it took more than ten years for me to write this article, but now when I think back to the experience at that time, I really have lingering fears. At that time, in order to exchange for peace and prosperity of the family business, my mother and I really spent a lot of money, but in the end not only did we not change. Although I came to peace, I walked into countless disasters. My father's winery company collapsed and he owed a lot of debt, so he sold their house to pay off the debt. I also experienced my husband's betrayal and eventually divorced. At that time, I really felt like living in hell. Seeing that my daughter was still so young, I felt distressed and guilty. I lived in hatred every day. Slowly, I began to suffer from insomnia and suffered a mental breakdown. But for my parents and I still have to persevere with my child. I have a bad temper. The most painful thing every day is when my family is asleep at night, but I can't fall asleep, even with medication. At that time, I just want to have a good sleep.
I thank the Lord that my Savior Jesus Christ chose me at this time. In fact, the seeds of the gospel were planted two years before I believed in the Lord. I didn’t know God at that time. A cousin-in-law of mine preach me the gospel in Singapore. But when I heard the gospel, I was very resistant. I felt like a Buddhist, what kind of Jesus do you want me to believe in? What's more, Jesus is the God of foreigners and has nothing to do with me. However, the Lord did not abandon me because of this. Instead, He kept preaching the gospel to me through my cousin. So one day two years later, my cousin and I when we were on the phone, I told her the pain in my heart. At this time, my cousin-in-law suddenly told me Lili, please believe in the Lord. I did not refuse this time but said casually: If God can let me sleep well. As soon as I sleep, I believe it! On the spot, my cousin asked me to pray for awareness over the phone and said that if you go to bed and sleep well tonight, then you can go to the church on Sunday to find out more. I just wanted to give it a try and agreed casually, but the power of God really showed up, and I really slept well until dawn that night. This may not be a big thing to others, but for a person who has suffered from insomnia for a long time, this is more precious than anything else. I have never experienced insomnia. People with depression will not understand that feeling. I even thought about dying, but Jesus Christ saved me, so I went to church on Sunday. When singing hymns, my tears couldn't stop flowing down, and the grievances in my heart were released all at once. The next day, I asked the sisters in the church to remove all the idols and immortals worshiped in my home. From then on, I walked towards the path of trusting the Lord, and my life slowly changed. After that, although I experienced many difficulties, I overcame them one by one with the help of the Lord Jesus. During this period, I also experienced many testimonies. My mother’s cancer was cured by God, and there were many more. Including my experience of coming to the United States, these testimonies really take a long time to tell.
After such a long period of God’s guidance, my life and personality have undergone great changes. I no longer live in hatred. I have learned to tolerate and forgive many things, and I have learned to tolerate others, because I know that it is God who has redeemed me, forgiven my sins, but unfortunately, during these years in China, I was not able to be baptized due to various reasons, but being baptized has always been what I longed for most until I came to the United States and came to EFCHH Church, it was God who led me to this church, and it was God who led me spiritual home, where I can finally truly become a child of God.
I thank the Lord and praise Him, thank EFCHH Church, and thank Pastor Shieh, Pastor Hsu, and Elder Jonathan for establishing the happiness group, which allowed me to integrate into the big family of EFCHH Church better and faster.